The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: The Higher the Heel, the Closer to God
*Adrienne keeps slagging off LVP for not instantly forgiving Adrienne for saying Vanderpump sold stories for $US20,000 to Radar Online (or something like that). Seems Adrienne and Camille were misled by someone at Radar who told them this. Radar has apologised for any misunderstanding. Everyone’s on Vanderpump’s side, as LVP can’t afford to be selling stories in her line of biz (hospitality). Everyone’s lucky LVP hasn’t sued. So they should pull their heads in.
SCENE: Kyle and Adrienne go kids’ clothes shopping
A teensy girl’s dress for a whopping $US311!
Kyle raises the LVP question as she wants no dramas at her kid’s birthday party. Adrienne can’t wait to get some passive aggressive digs in at LVP, so slags her off as petty, “immature” etc.
Kyle, who is loyal to whoever she is hanging out with that minute, totally agrees with Adrienne, then says in a narrative cutaway the opposite, that she thinks Adrienne owes LVP an apology.
SCENE: At Tay’s “ungated” place for Mexican food
Dr Paul Nassif criticises his wife, Adrienne, for never pigging out. Which seems bizarre behaviour, from a doctor. Why publicly humiliate and pressure anyone into eating more?
Then he comments on Taylor’s weight and says he’s glad she’s added 10 pounds. Surely he could comment on other topics at a dinner party?
Tay asks Dr Paul and hunky Mauricio to walk a mile in high heels to raise $$$ for domestic violence survivors.
SCENE 3 Adrienne and Dr Paul go high heel shopping
They cheat and buy platform moon boots.
SCENE 4 Yolanda bigs up her supermodel daughter Gigi
Ex-supermodel Yolanda turns up to her daughter Gigi’s photo shoot for Guess. Gigi says she’s going to pig out at a party, and Y tells her that’s OK but get back on a diet the next day, especially since they like the models skinny in Milan. Y says she hates Stage Moms, but then tells the makeup artist to do rounder eye makeup so Gigi doesn’t look Chinese (!) and makes suggestions to the wardrobe guys on what will flatter her daughter most. Y tells Gigi to make enough $$$ to buy a flat, despite Gigi’s Dad being gazillionaire Mohamed, who has the biggest house in BHills.
SCENE 5 High heel race
Mauricio accuses Paul of cheating by wearing platform boots, not heels. Mauricio’s toes feel crunched. High heel-wearing women around the planet laugh at their discomfort.
Paul and Adrienne slag off LVP to everyone and we have no idea why Paul and Adrienne expect an apology from LVP.
SCENE 6 Portia’s birthday party
Kyle promised Portia, 3, a flying white unicorn, but instead the Event Planner (clearly not Kevin Lee, as he would have managed it, “It has to be Over the top, Fabulous!”) it’s a brown pony wearing a pointy party hat. LVP turns up for a minute before heading off to a wine tasting at Villa Blanca, thus avoiding Adrienne and Paul.
Kyle is so disappointed there won’t be a showdown btw LVP and Adrienne, so she says she’ll hold a dinner mid-week for it. LVP says she’s not interested in a big-scale dinner drama and wants Kyle to butt out.Am totally sick of Kyle trying to mimic LVP’s accent – boring after 2 seasons of it! Get a new joke writer, grl!
Brandi’s having an anxiety attack cos none of her “go to” friends are there. She leaves soon-ish.
Kyle says it’s a shame the adults are acting more childishy than the kids, which is bizarre, as Kyle loves stirring up trouble. Maybe’s she’s changing this season into Peacemaker Kyle.
Taylor says hi to everyone except Brandi, who criticised Tay for getting confused about “public” and “private” issues. Tay fails to grasp that stuff she says on telly is in the “public” arena.
“I’m One Of A Kind” KIM ARRIVES! She sensibly refuses to answer quez about her “gay bull mastiff” ex, who she seems to have split with. Love Kim and her journey to Recovery.
Tay seems under the weather and spreads a nasty quote, out of context, that Brandi claimed she’s slept with every guy in BHills. It was a joke, Tay, and if it wasn’t, it’s none of your business, doing slut-shaming!
Adrienne slags off LVP, saying she’s very “high school” and someone “so busy”should have “moved on”.
BIGGEST MANIPULATOR: Adrienne
ANXIETY ATTACK: Brandi leaving after a few secs at Kyle’s kid’s party.