Married at First Sight Australia season 2 episode 5

Am feeling cheated re: Jess and Dave’s big talk, which happened in last night’s qwepisode and was cryptic cos Dave didn’t give any answers. In the newly edited version this evening, we get his full explanation — why couldn’t we have seen that last night? Would have meant Dave would have made sense.

Jess gives him a death stare that’d melt the Death Star and Dave looks totes shell-shocked. She’s crying and embarrassed and she would be great doing morning TV or something cos she’s so real. She gets home and cries a lot, but at least she found out early that he was wrong. Her friend is lovely: “He’s an idiot.”

We see Dave at home, and give the editor an Emmy, it’s brilliant. He’s crashed out to Simply the Best. A bottle of Eno is on the table, its label facing the camera.

Tatts and Teacher are planning how many kidz they’ll have. The new tatt where he’s a lion morphing into her is bizarre!!! Red flag right there.

Andy is alone in his NZ honeymoon castle, feeling like Queen Elsa, regretting he’s so reserved. He magically finds Craig, and they sit on the grass as Craig accuses him of being a wet fish and Andy says he’s been cheated on twice before and he’s trying to get over being a wet fish. Craig says he’s been cheated on twice too, and he’s not a wet fish, so it’s not inevitable. Andy announces it’s over and he cries and Craig hugs him. They both walk away sobbing and devastated, and we all want them to get back together. Craig wanders the streets of NZ forlorn, literally not knowing where to go, since he’s left the honeymoon castle early.

Radio Girl and Dad: When he says: “Have you washed him?” (her pink teddy bear), you know it’s over. Cutaway to him having buyer’s remorse. She wants to christen every room and he says “I feel like it might be a long night…” Later, he says he loves her and she says they’re soul mates cos of the Angel Cards saying so. Slick editing? Dunno, am not feeling it.

BEST QUOTE: “She’s got a really caring heart, like me, like, if you’re in the position to help anyone, she’d take that opportunity with both hands.” — Tatts

 

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