Married at First Sight Australia season 2 episode 5

Am feeling cheated re: Jess and Dave’s big talk, which happened in last night’s qwepisode and was cryptic cos Dave didn’t give any answers. In the newly edited version this evening, we get his full explanation — why couldn’t we have seen that last night? Would have meant Dave would have made sense.

Jess gives him a death stare that’d melt the Death Star and Dave looks totes shell-shocked. She’s crying and embarrassed and she would be great doing morning TV or something cos she’s so real. She gets home and cries a lot, but at least she found out early that he was wrong. Her friend is lovely: “He’s an idiot.”

We see Dave at home, and give the editor an Emmy, it’s brilliant. He’s crashed out to Simply the Best. A bottle of Eno is on the table, its label facing the camera.

Tatts and Teacher are planning how many kidz they’ll have. The new tatt where he’s a lion morphing into her is bizarre!!! Red flag right there.

Andy is alone in his NZ honeymoon castle, feeling like Queen Elsa, regretting he’s so reserved. He magically finds Craig, and they sit on the grass as Craig accuses him of being a wet fish and Andy says he’s been cheated on twice before and he’s trying to get over being a wet fish. Craig says he’s been cheated on twice too, and he’s not a wet fish, so it’s not inevitable. Andy announces it’s over and he cries and Craig hugs him. They both walk away sobbing and devastated, and we all want them to get back together. Craig wanders the streets of NZ forlorn, literally not knowing where to go, since he’s left the honeymoon castle early.

Radio Girl and Dad: When he says: “Have you washed him?” (her pink teddy bear), you know it’s over. Cutaway to him having buyer’s remorse. She wants to christen every room and he says “I feel like it might be a long night…” Later, he says he loves her and she says they’re soul mates cos of the Angel Cards saying so. Slick editing? Dunno, am not feeling it.

BEST QUOTE: “She’s got a really caring heart, like me, like, if you’re in the position to help anyone, she’d take that opportunity with both hands.” — Tatts

 

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Married at First Sight Australia season 2 episode 4

BEST QUOTES: (both by Craig, Kylie’s hairdresser) “Fang it, fang it!”

222.jpgAND: “We were on top of the mountain, living the dream and he doesn’t even want to touch me!”

Gay Andy is taking his time showing affection to Craig, which is driving Craig crazy. He leaves. 😦

Felt sorry for Jess cos her bloke isn’t into her. Don’t reckon it’s her fault, as it seems he’s got something else on his mind, cos he’s making a big effort to show he’s not interested. It’s DEFFO not her fault, since she’s into Backstreet Boyz, knowing all their lyrics, she’s the perfect fun singalong girly girl.

Tatts gives it his all: throws away his nose ring; attempts an underseas kiss, learns how to drink wine, cooks fish over a campfire and does some amazing hula dancing. Winning!!

In a major subplot, a bloke tells a blonde radio girl that he has a six-yr-old kid who’s overseas. He flies overseas for five days out of every couple of months and that’s non-negotiable. Lots of problems potential. Radio girl says all the right things, she still likes him etc. She looks really thrown, as you would, as you’re s’posed to know that type of thing *before* getting married!!

Am a bit disappointed some of the couples are so quick to “get it on”, probably due to booze. I s’pose they’re encouraged to drink, to raise the stakes. But I’d rather they get to know each other. It seems a bit fake otherwise, or “for the TV”. Ideally, I’d like to see people having a choice of dating several others on dating shows. True matches are what I want!

Married at First Sight Australia season 2 episodes 1 to 3

Tears seeing Zmarr1oe and her ultrasound baby, a successful couple from two years ago. “Two minutes of hard work.”

“Love is a powerful force and it causes chemikal reakshuns and emotshuns and stuff,” narrator Georgie Gardner says in an important tone, likes she’s reading the news.

Shots of desperate singles saying I’ve got to meet someone NOW, or else!

1000 singles wanted to sign up, but only a few were chosen. These lovers have been on zillions of dates every year with no luck, so now they’re turning to SCIENCE which says they’ve got to meet someone who smells nice, is attractive and who you can communikate with.

Scientists’ heads come on all serius in close-up, saying it’s so important they get it right, since the singles have screwed it up repeatedly and they have NO HOPE without scientific logic.

The Singles HAVE to do a fake wedding cos they’re so hopeless at opening up and these theatrics are the ONLY WAY they can knuckle down and take finding love SERIOUSLY!!!

Some of them have had traumas and find it hard to let people in, so maybe these dressups and having family around will help them get their sh*t together.

Mr Tatts comes on and we all love him, he says he looks tough but he’d help little old ladies across roads and chickens and eggs, and he comes from a lovely family who fostered kids and he’s seen horrible trauma in the navy. He was part of the Refugee Boarding party and it was confronting to see the bodies of women and children. 😦 “It changes you, I got affected by it.” He’s left the navy and is back living at home with Mum and Dad while he gets back on his feet.

His perfect match is Nicole, the primary teacher, who’s v sweet and could be married forever to anyone cos she loves the whole planet.

Love the firefighter who wears his Marvel cartoon undies to the wedding; not sure he’ll survive with the ambitious perfectionist.

Was great to see Nicole’s Dad, with the leg, come round to like Tatts.

The gay couple, CrAndy — well, Andy is trying to deal with trust issues cos of his own
horrible exes. He has a tanty re: Craig’s ex is here! Everything I’d done and said is dead to me! It’s a dealbreaker!! I’m out!!! He downs a Jack Daniels and has a chat with his friends and recovers. They both seem lovely. Craig is calmer, he’s a hairdresser, he has to be.

The Singles say “Sh*t” a lot.

Did a lot of f-fwding cos everyone’s on their best behaviour now. They’ll be tired and emotional on the honeymoon.

The next revealing bit will be when they move in: how much space does the other person leave? And week 2 of living together is when we’ll see if they want to be together and are trying.

BEST QUOTE: Tatts: “I promise that you will always count. That you will always come first. If you don’t for whatever reason, I will buy you some shoes.”

Eurovision 2016 Australia!

What an exciting Eurovision!, with Dami winning the jury vote! And second overall. Loved the Swedish hosts’ comedy segments. L made lovely vanilla cupcakes with Swedish flags stuck in them, and Scandinavian Dreamcake (coconut topping, delish!) Everyone had made special trips to IKEA for all the Swedish food and drinks, so we had EVERYTHING!

Watching all the past Swedish hits made us wonder if anyone in Sweden has a normal 9-5.30 job? They all seem so busy making smash hits.

Played my customised Eurovision Bingo — we were a bit disappointed by the lack of backing dancers this years (replaced by special fx) as that eliminated some oeurof the bingo spotting challenges (eg. “singer lifted by a backing dancer”). L won the bingo tiara, as she spotted most things first.

G brought Greek bikkies, but we couldn’t eat them when Greece came on, as they’d already been knocked out in the semis! TC filled in any gaps in our Eurovision knowledge.

We are still waiting for superfan S, who was in Stockholm watching the semis, to send us photos of her Eurovision pilgrimage!

Since we’ve been watching Eurovision since the 1990s, when it was first shown on SBS with Terry Wogan’s excellent commentary, we raised a glass and toasted Wogan’s demise at song no.9, which is significant, as UK host Graham Norton said this was when Wogan advised Norton that it was OK to have the first alcoholic drink. (“no drinking before song 9!”, otherwise the commentator gets sozzled too quickly.)

 

 

 

The Voice Australia 2016 recap The Blinds Episode 1

 

ALFIE THE ARCHITECT

First up is Alfie, with smoothy velvet emotionalism. The judges love it. Floods of tears, as his sister had the same thing as Delta and they had her photo stuck on the fridge as an inspiration! His family’s all crying when they hear him pick Delta! Am weeping into my hot chocolate, this is what Sunday nite TV is all about!

Jessie and Delta announce they won’t be tediously fighting this year. Yay!

Jessie says she’s dressed as the red chair and does anyone want to sit on her lap and swing around?

SURFIE GUY BLAKE

His nerves are getting the better of him and he’s a bit flat. Team Madden pick him and find out he’s a plumber and the Maddens say they hope he shows his butt crack. He says he does.

CLAIRE FROM HONEY BOUTIQUE

Claire’s Mum is a professional Medium and predicts Jessie J will come thru. Claire loves being a retail asst but it’s been her dream forever to be a star. BUST! Judges want authentic voice.

SINGLE DAD FROM MELBOURNE

Jack has lots of tatts so he says some peeps think he’s intimidating, but he’s quiet and sweet and lives with Mum and daughter Ivy. Thinks this is the best thing he could do for his family and himself. Ivy’s fave singer is her Dad! He’s great! Goes with Jessie J.

Ronan’s pitch included a chat about busking for the homeless in Ireland last Xmas with other Irish superstars. Yay! Good deeder.

MADISON THE TIMBER FINISHER AT DAD’S BUSINESS

“I’m over the dust and fumes at the factory. Tonight’s going to be the night!” All the judges want her! A Madden gives her a hug and says join us, we’re huggers! She does!

 ACE WHO LOVES RONAN

Sings a Ronan song to make sure Ronan knows who he wants. It’s like bad karaoke but when the nerves are gone and Ronan sings it with him, Ace sounds a lot better than Ronan.

I need a palate-cleansing break, so play Prince song Manic Monday. The bridge! “All of the nights …”

lexi

LEXI CLARK

Was fat and unhappy, then lost weight. Mum preferred her fatter as now she won’t eat her lasagna and ravioli. Lost her voice when tonsils came out at 16 and complications, terrible time, so she’s worried about hitting high notes. Nana Mouskouri-look, she’s GREAT!! Team Madden!

SUMMARY: Maddens have 3 artists, Delta 1, Jessie J 1 and Ronan said he’ll go to his trailer to have a cry, as he got none! I thought all the singers were great, just nerves got in the way.

THE BIG PRIZE: Mazda 3, $100,000 and contract with Universal.

http://www.9jumpin.com.au/show/the-voice/

Vanderpump Rules all episodes recap

A group of 20-something tommodels, who look great in bikinis and speedos, work at Real Housewife of Beverly Hills’ Lisa Vanderpump’s SUR (acronym for Sexy Unique Restaurant) while doing acting/music auditions on the side.

The storylines are: 20-yr olds drink and sleep with the wrong people. They break up, make-up. Repeat for several seasons.

Vanderpump appears as a motherly figure giving advice, and seems like a very generous boss, considering how the antics usually impact on their work.

I love it. Pretty typical coming-of-age shenanigans, brings back memories.

What’s best is they all seem to care about each other, despite the many almost unforgivable transgressions.

There’s a great Reunion show (Season One, Uncensored) where the production team explain how it was traumatic for them to be filming all the ups and downs and it was more explosive than they’d anticipated.

vanderpump-rules-season-4-relationship-chart-04

 

Married At First Sight finale recap

Channel 9, 27 April 2016.

Jono and Clare: called it quits. Jono felt he was like one of Clare’s rescue dogs. Clare gets a dog that wears nappies and says she hopes to change a baby’s nappies someday too.

Simone (make-up artist) and Xavier (would rather watch TV sports)

After initially having the hots for each other on their wedding day and honeymoon, when they moved in together, it all went to dullsville.

Simone realises romance is important, but Xavier decides a soccer game — Wanderers v Mariners — is a great date. She enjoys it, but not her idea of a date.

Xavier’s last night plan is boring pizza and wine and she’s unimpressed.

Xavier doesn’t even make her brekkie on her last morning! “I’ve got a sales meeting,” he says, looking at the clock and racing off, blaming himself for the lack of intimacy, due to him being a cold fish.

48-HR BREAK: Simone says she needs a hug every day when she walks in the door, is that too much to ask?

Xavier says he needs Simone back so she can give him fashion advice on whether to wear a gold watch with a gold ring.

HELL YEAH! OR BUST? Simone: not enough affection, never felt special, never a priority. BUST!

Xavier: He seems shocked and reaches for her hand in a move of desperation as though he’ll never find anyone again, and she recoils. He doesn’t seem to find it easy to be affectionate with anyone, and he says he’ll try to change and be more loving in the future. Tweets say he’s in love with his hair.

Erin (anxious chick who can’t cook/use a washing machine/had never moved out of home) and Bryce (quiet guy)

They hit it off at the wedding and had been going strong since.

On the final night, Erin wants to thrill Bryce with her domestic goddess culinary skills via a carbonara dish and vanilla cake. But she forgot to buy milk and there’s no way they can buy any, even though they seem to be in the city. So they go to a restaurant. The “children” topic has upset them, as Erin wants to wait a while and travel beforehand; Bryce wants kids now, it could be a deal-breaker.

The show’s psychologists says Erin’s anxiety might surface during the separate reflective period and it’ll all be over.

MAKE OR BREAK?

Erin develops a savage-looking red rash during the final interview. The experts notice and say she’s clearly totally stressed out. She says Bryce is Mr Perfect and calms her down.

Bryce says he’s weighed up the pros and cons – they’re at different phases.

Erin says Bryce has made her a better person, so YES!

Bryce: I want kids, but will wait til u’re ready, u fill a gap in my life. YES!

2 MONTHS LATER They’re still in 7th heaven. Heading on the “love train” to the love station.

Christie (cleaning business/city) and Mark (farmer)

They didn’t hit it off over the honeymoon, but Mark worked hard to win her over.

Final day: He rolls back a hay bale and he’s got a great picnic prepared out of nowhere! He’s always really liked her and is in tears, saying he hopes she learns to love the country. He doesn’t want to leave the farm.

Christie says he’s a nice, decent guy but the 7-hr commute is a killer. Considering when she first met him, she didn’t fancy him and would’ve swiped left on Tinder, am wondering what she really thinks.

MAKE OR BREAK?

Christie says the distance and different lifestyle and being away from her family and friends will drive her nuts. No slumber parties with her future kids and the nephews/nieces. But YES!

Mark feels giving up the country would be giving up more than Christie would be giving up. He feels he won’t feel happy outside the relationship if he lived in the city. But then he seems to switcheroo and says yes!

2 MONTHS LATER Still together.