| An old hearse is the ideal vehicle for taking a ghostly ride around the city.
My friend Squeamish and I are in the back seat of Elvira, a black 1967 Cadillac hearse, beside a sign warning “No food, No drink, No sex”, and we’re about to embark on a Weird Ghost and History Tour of Sydney. The tour promises to feature crime locations and sites of “suicide, sex, suffering and scandal” and it departs, appropriately enough, from a Kings Cross car park. We’re accompanied by two other tourists, Copper and Ms Manchester. “Is this your first time in a hearse?” asks our guide, the softly spoken hearse whisperer Allan Levinson. “It won’t be your last.” He provides a plastic folder with information and photos to flick through during the tour. When he mentions that Elvira had been used as a funeral hearse for 30 years in California, and carried thousands of people to their final resting place, Squeamish screams. Later she feels queasy when there’s a brief reference to scabs forming after floggings. During the next two hours we experience what it’s like to turn heads as Elvira attracts admiration during our drive through Double Bay, Point Piper, Darlinghurst, Paddington, The Rocks, the CBD and Woolloomooloo. “Draw the curtains if you don’t want to be the centre of attention,” Levinson suggests, but we enjoy feeling like superstars and wave regally to passersby. Elvira provides most of the spicy prerecorded commentary, while Levinson adds humorous asides. The tour starts with scandal, such as the politician who died in a hotel room wearing a “loaded” condom, and moves on to the famous. We drive by the church where Elton John got married, and the hotel where Bill Clinton, Princess Di, Neil Diamond, Madonna and George Bush stayed. Then we get to the ghouls. We’re treated to stories of Sydney spirits including the one with a bowler hat who wears boots, the nun who wears a grey habit but has no feet, the derelict who plays the drums during quiet moments at the Opera House, the bloke who slams shut heavy steel doors, and the floating head that drifts through a toilet block. There are also the unexplained events at various buildings the lights that switch on and off, items that are mysteriously moved, the banging shutters, a light in a hospital ward that rocks to and fro when a patient’s death is imminent, and the ghost of a drag queen in a women’s toilet where the cubicle door swings back and forth. What impresses us most are the sights we pass every day and have never noted before, such as the beautiful gothic Mortuary Station near Central Station. And the fact that the latter was once occupied by 30,000 headstones. Later we stop at the Harbour Bridge for soft drinks, biscuits and peanuts, which are stashed in a small coffin. We resume the trip by cruising past a top-class brothel, a former sexually transmitted diseases clinic, the hotel where the Beatles stayed, and the heroin shooting gallery. Back at the car park, Levinson gives us five pages of extra history notes to take home and a free video of Elvira’s first movie role in a short film made at the Australian Film, Television and Radio School. Squeamish, it turns out, enjoyed the experience. So much so she spent the rest of the week scaring herself witless by reading an excellent ghost book Levinson had recommended, The Ghost Guide to Australia by Richard Davis. Tours operate every day: 11/2 hours $49, two hours $65. Phone 9555 2700 or visit www.destinytours.com.au |
Hostess with the mostest
| Next time you hold a party, surf the Net first for tips on making it memorable, writes Cotton Ward.
Birthday Express.com www.celebrateexpress.com/bexpress Print out free colouring-in posters of dragons, unicorns and fire trucks and connect-the-dots pictures for children’s parties, courtesy of Birthday Express.com. Here you’ll find a party planning wizard, customisable checklists and recipes. It suggests keeping children’s parties to no longer than 2.5 hours as “young guests will be excited” and “mishaps may occur”. Best to put those cherished Franklin Mint pieces out of reach then. How to throw a party www.connect.net/ron/howtothrowaparty.html “Don’t use a sheet,” warns Ron Turner, of Texas, who loves throwing toga parties. Follow his step-by-step guide on how to tie a toga correctly, and then accessorise (such as with plastic swords) and G-rate it (“wear gym shorts underneath”). Take note of his rough guide for calculating beverage consumption: simply determine whether your guests are mainly “normal” (allow 2.5 drinks per person for the evening) or “alcoholics” (2.5 drinks per hour). Go straight to the Party Animals section to find the top games, as judged by this UK-based hospitality company. Highlights include “the Psychiatrist” (where you ask each other a lot of raunchy, rude and tactless questions), toilet games (“Mummy wrap” – the site advises that you have the video camera handy for this one), various drinking games and “games to annoy the neighbours” that involve a lot of shouting and rapid jumping up and down. Party 411 Outwit, outlast, outplay, outparty. Yes, Survivor is one of dozens of themes outlined at Party411.com, where every detail is included. For example, Survivor party guests should only be allowed to bring along two “luxury items”. Then they can play immunity challenges where they have to eat gummy bugs. The site advises that if you ever want to see your friends again you’d better make sure they don’t have to vote each other off, or else you could be left standing alone with the winner at 9pm. eHow to Be the Life of the Party http://206.67.52.250/eHow/eHow/0,1053,4126,00.html Make a grand entrance by carrying a kazoo and announcing your arrival, advises Elvis Terrier, who has written this guide for the eHow site. He suggests you should flirt a lot, but “don’t end up alone in a room with someone” because then you’ll miss “your chance to shine”. Also, avoid anyone lurking by the food or doors because they’re not “likely to be interested in conversation”. Hmm, sounds like the ideal spot so you won’t be approached by anyone following these guidelines. Bucksweekend.com You’re organising a buck’s night, so you have to get the groom legless, strip him and handcuff him to a lamp post, right? Not so, say the folks at Bucks Weekend.com, who fancy themselves as “Australia’s premier buck’s night organisers”. A choice of packages combines paintball, fishing, golf, scuba diving and outings to the races. Take the Super Saver option (provide your own transport) and save $45 per head. The site wears like a badge of honour a review it attributes to this paper – “every bit as crass as you might expect” – and one glance at the home page justifies the comments. What’s Going On.com Nothing good on this weekend? Then visit What’s Going On.com, which lists the best parties and events worldwide. Each event features ratings such as: “do it before you die”, “down and dirty” and “potential to see blood”. Recommended events when we visited included the “Love Parade” in Berlin and the running of the bulls in Spain. Or pop over to Finland for the “Wife Carrying World Championship”, in which you can win your wife’s weight in beer. Housewarming parties www.hgtv.com/HGTV/project/0,1158,FOLI_project_14894,FF.html Hand out name tags that look like welcome mats, suggests entertaining expert Dana Christine, then encourage guests to wander throughout your new abode by placing appetisers in the hallway, the main course in the next room and coffee in the kitchen. For dessert, treat your guests to a frosted cake that features a picture of your new home created out of icing. Easy. Martha Stewart.com For dinner party ideas, visit the American doyenne of domesticity, Martha Stewart, who has built a $1.2 billion media and mail-order empire on home hints. The “entertaining 101” section has food and drink menus for every occasion, and graphics to show you how to fold table napkins correctly and make table decorations. There’s a right way and wrong way to do everything, and Martha knows best. Tupperware Wear as many different types of clothing, shoes and jewellery as possible, stuff your handbag with bizarre items and be prepared to lie a lot whenever you attend a Tupperware party. Why? Because they always play those games where you score 20 points for wearing gold, 40 for athletics shoes, 75 if your name is Pat, and so on. And for what? One of those plastic mats that open every jar and bottle. Tip: you can buy the mats for about $2 at Woollies. Making a date Plagued by fickle friends who can’t agree on a time and place? Ask them to take part in an online poll from evite.com (http://evite.citysearch.com) where they can vote and agree on details. Then send an electronic invite from the same site. |
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In your wildest
| Cotton Ward travels to the land of Nod to unravel the meaning of your dreams.
Ask the Dream Doctor Do you know the meaning of elevators in dreams? If you do, you could win a free analysis with the Dream Doctor, Charles McPhee, the former director of the Sleep Apnoea Program at the Sleep Disorders Centre in California. He runs an interactive site where you can submit dreams for interpretation. Head for the Teen Zone area – they have the most vivid dreams with subjects such as “Time bomb”, “Blind driver”, “Still angry” and “Kill a jaguar”. Dream Tree www.dreamtree.com The history of dreaming is fascinating. Aristotle thought dreams could indicate illnesses. The Chinese built dream temples that judges would visit to gain wisdom. Ancient Egyptians believed the gods infiltrated the dreams of their royal leaders. This article by Gail Bixler-Thomas explains the importance of dreams since ancient times, and the debate over whether they have meaning or are useless memories being dumped by the brain. Sigmund Freud – The Interpretation of Dreamswww.psywww.com/books/interp/toc.htm This third edition of Freud’s book was first written in 1899 and is pretty heavy stuff. If you can’t get through it, just try relating everything you’ve ever dreamt of to sex. Freud says that when he worked on the “problems of the neuroses” he had “often gone astray”, but his work on dream interpretation restored his self-confidence. The Lucidity Institute “Many people have said their first lucid dream was the most wonderful experience of their lives,” says Dr Stephen LaBerge, the founder of this site. Lucid dreaming is when you’re aware that you’re having a dream. While some people worry they’ll become so addicted to pleasurable dreams that they’ll “sleep their lives away”, Dr LaBerge reassures us this is unlikely because we have a limited amount of Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep. The Quantitative Study of Dreams By analysing the dreams of people from several industrialised nations it was discovered that Americans have the highest occurrence of physical aggression. Overall, though, aggression, misfortune and other negative emotions were more frequent in the dreams of people living in poorer or preliterate countries. The papers posted at this site are the results of studies run by researchers at the University of California. The studies Association for the Study of Dreams Like a scene straight out of Ghostbusters, the Association for the Study of Dreams, Working with colour in dreams Prominent colours in your dreams have positive and negative connotations says author Bob Hoss, who has written a book on the subject. He outlines a method for selecting the most relevant colours and matching these against a chart that lists statements associated with each colour. There are a few surprises: yellow seems like a cheerful colour but according to Hoss it can mean “unfulfilled hopes have led to uncertainty and apprehension”. The Nightmare Project Serial killers, spiders, bogeymen under the bed … they’re all here in more than 200 nightmares, thanks to collator Walter Marconette. “Nightmares tell us that our happy, serene lives can be ripped away at any moment,” says Marconette. “They taunt us with the suggestion that … evil just might triumph in the end.” Hellish scenarios include “Subterranean god”, “Satan’s child”, “Killing spree” and “Date with death”. Dream Gatherers www.dreamthread.com/gather.html Ever had a dream that prophesied an event and it came true? The team at DreamThread would like to hear from you. Site creator Ariadne Green is a counsellor who specialises in dreamwork and shamanism. “We call for dreams answering a variety of global questions,” says the site. “Prophetic dreams can have an incredible impact on the global community.” Green is particularly interested in anything you’ve dreamt about the influence of the Hale-Bopp comet or political and social events. Crop Circles – Their Meaning and Connections to Dreams www.greatdreams.com/crpcirc.htm Crop circles are “symbolic messages” made by an “unknown higher intelligence”, say Joseph Mason and Dee Finney, who’ve spent 10 years researching the phenomenon. They believe crop circles are related to dreams and human consciousness. The most impressive section features crop circle photos next to drawings of symbols from dreams and visions. “Messages from ‘spirit’ and/or ‘alien/ET’ influences are coming to us in various ways … and we NEED to know what they mean,” they implore. Drug nightmare Want more refreshing Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep? Don’t try marijuana and alcohol as these usually cause a “REM rebound” where you experience long REM nightmares when the drug has worn off. LSD-type drugs can induce longer REM periods, but they’re also illegal. |
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Off your trolley
Do online supermarkets really deliver? Cotton Ward clicks her way through the weekly groceries.
More people are leaving behind parking hassles and flimsy carrier bags in favour of point-and-click of online supermarkets.
There’s no need to set foot in the mall again when you sign up at one of the four major online stores: GreenGrocer.com, ShopFast, Woolworths or Coles.
But are they as good as they’re made out to be? Is online shopping the solution to supermarket drudgery or just a cute idea whose time has yet to come?
To help you choose the best, I road-tested each online service. That meant ordering a variety of items and comparing ease of shopping, price, cost and accuracy of delivery and freshness.
Overall, the results were impressive.
Despite the large number of products available, no single store was able to supply every item. The selection at the online stores doesn’t always match the variety in the supermarket aisles.
For example, there is a brand of yoghurt and a stir-fry sauce available in Coles and Woolworths that is nowhere to be seen at their online stores. However, I managed to get about 98 per cent of our list items from every vendor.
With the exception of Coles, the quantities of meat and seafood were larger than I would have liked.
If you don’t intend to freeze seafood or eat fish every night of a week, this is something to consider.
Compared with only ix months ago, the Web sites and services have expanded dramatically and improved. Each site totes up the cost of items as you buy them, either automatically or by asking you to update your basket.
Delivery costs range from $5.95 to $13.69, which is reasonable when you consider it costs about $5 to have goods home-delivered after you’ve loaded your own trolley.
ShopFast and GreenGrocer deliver six days a week and charge different fees for peak and off-peak times. Coles and Woolworths have daily deliveries and don’t charge extra for this service, but you would already have paid their standard fees of $13.69 and $12.50 respectively.
After delivery costs, the pricing of food online is generally about the same as in real-world stores. If you don’t have a credit card, you won’t be able to shop at GreenGrocer.com. The other stores accept Eftpos at the door. Once you’ve ordered, the delivery person will whisk your goods straight through to the kitchen counter.
The main drawback of cyber shopping is the difficulty in checking whether a new product or different brand is the item you want. The online stores are slowly including product descriptions and photos, but there’s still a long way to go.
It still takes about three orders to set up a comprehensive shopping list. Trawling through the lists to find what you want is the most tedious part of the experience. But, as your master shopping list builds, it becomes very straightforward. However, you may still find yourself making a trip to the corner shop to pick up food you either forgot to select, or to buy a brand or speciality available only at the local deli.
Www.consult analyst Ian Webster says online grocery shoppers are the most satisfied of all Internet consumers. “They are the most enthusiastic of all online shoppers,” Webster says. “For some, shopping online is truly wonderful.”
He says about one in 1000 grocery shoppers uses an online service. “The challenge the supermarkets have is working out how to encourage more people to use it and to determine the size of the market.”
More people than ever are enjoying the convenience of online shopping, says ShopFast’s marketing director Rob Fitzpatrick. He says the service has about 90,000 users, which covers more than 5 per cent of Sydney households.
One of the major concerns about online shopping is that you can’t see the quality of fruit and veg. To get around this, GreenGrocer.com rates the produce and gives tips on what to buy in a twice-weekly email.
“Our customers are fairly fussy,” says CEO Douglas Carlson. “We deliver to top hotels and restaurants, such as Level 41, and our customers get the same high quality. That’s what separates us from everyone else.”
The company was founded in 1997 and has about 75,000 registered shoppers.
GreenGrocer.com’s Web site has fewer bells and whistles than the others and, Carlson says, this minimises the chances of technical hitches. “We’ve kept it simple so customers can use it from work and don’t have as many problems with corporate firewalls.”
Big bite
In December Woolworths bought 38 per cent of GreenGrocer.com, and the company expanded its range of supermarket items. So does this mean it will be merged with the supermarket chain? “No, Woolworths values the fact that we cover a niche segment of the market,” says GreenGrocer.com boss Douglas Carlson.
MAKING A LIST AND CHECKING IT TWICE
You need a basic list or a couple of dockets from previous shopping trips because the most difficult aspect of online grocery shopping is that once you click on a department, such as “laundry”, you’re faced with a huge product list.
Some of the sites feature recipes. Click a button and all the ingredients will be delivered.
Use the fastest connection available
A 56KBps dial-up connection at home can be incredibly slow when you’re searching through several online “aisles”. It’s better to compile lists and scroll through the sites using a faster Internet connection, for instance at work (don’t tell the boss).
Check your order
Do this the first couple of times you order until you’re familiar with the site, as it can be easy to select the same item twice.
Specify expiry dates
None of the services has a fixed policy about expiry dates, apart from checking the items haven’t expired. If you’re not happy with items received, you can get replacement products. You can include instructions such as “ripe bananas wanted” .
Cheapest prices
Fruit, vegetables and meat tended to be cheaper at GreenGrocer.com and ShopFast and all the other items were mostly cheaper at Woolworths and Coles. When I checked the online prices for 10 items from Coles and Woolworths online against the same stores in Leichhardt, prices were identical.
Return recyclable boxes
Unpack and give these to the driver immediately, otherwise they’ll be sitting around your house for a week.
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The chill factor
| A laid-back Cotton Ward imagines she’s a tree and lets her cares slip away.
Transcendental Meditation You don’t need a long beard and flowing white robes to gain the full benefits of US-based Maharishi Mahesh’s method. Download the free online video and book that teaches you how to do it properly. As you become more advanced, try “yogic flying”, which involves the body lifting up and moving “forward in short hops”. It’s best to practise this in groups so you can create a surge of energy that promotes “positive, harmonious trends” throughout society. Mind, body and modem If yogic flying isn’t impressive enough, wow your friends by making it impossible for even the strongest challenger to bend your arm or lift you off the ground. Aikido Kokikai is a martial art based on the philosophy that with correct relaxation, your body and mind become more powerful. Relax by focusing on one point, correcting your posture, and doing “ki” exercises to develop your mystical inner force. The Anxiety Panic Internet Resource www.algy.com/anxiety/relax.html Terrified of the dentist? Or eating in public? Or of your partner’s driving? This site was started by a teacher in Tennessee (identified only as “Steve”) to advise people on how to relax during panic attacks. There are heaps of suggestions, including visualisation, muscular relaxation, abdominal breathing and “meditative” gardening (not the Backyard Blitz variety). The Charlotte Community of Mindfulness www.coe.uncc.edu/~billchu/sangha You’ll be watching every move you make when you join in the meditation for mindful living at this US-based Buddhist group’s site. There’s a handy icon to click so your computer will make a bell sound every five minutes as you do a five-step recitation. First, burn some incense, then dwell on various forms of suffering and injustice and vow to cultivate “compassion”, “loving kindness” and “deep listening” and to practise “mindful eating, drinking and consuming”. Visit the Stress-O-Meter www.relax123.com/som/som_f.html Find out just how close to the edge you are using the Stress-O-Meter. If you score highly it suggests you use techniques such as imagining you are a mighty tree or an unravelling ball of string. Sam Houston State University Counselling Centre relaxation techniques www.shsu.edu/~counsel/relaxation.html HypnoGenesis “When I snap my fingers, you will start doing a striptease …” Embarrassing? You bet. But hypnosis is about more than television theatrics, where it is sometimes presented as an evil power that takes over your mind. It is most often used for therapeutic purposes to improve mental, emotional and physical health. HypnoGenesis is an online magazine that seeks to “demystify” hypnosis. Topics featured include subliminal suggestions and how to tell whether you are hypnotised. Insight Meditation Online Don’t fancy being tied up in a knot holding the lotus position for hours? Then try a walking meditation. Here you’ll find illustrated photos of how to properly raise, lift, push, drop, touch and press down with your foot. Intense awareness is essential. It’s best to start with walking meditation and then do a sitting session without a break so you develop a “continuity of awareness” that carries through into daily activities. What is EEG Biofeedback? www.eegspectrum.com/articles/faq.htm Biofeedback is a type of Aerobics Oz Style designed for the brain. It can be used to train yourself to reach deeper stages of relaxation. Electrodes are placed on the scalp using gel and two others are attached to the ear lobes to monitor your brainwaves. Then you’re coached to consciously change the patterns displayed on a screen. Don’t worry – there are no electric shocks. It’s painless and the first session usually takes about two hours and follow-ups last about 40 minutes. Integration of Behavioural and Relaxation Approaches http://text.nlm.nih.gov/nih/ta/www/017txt.html Which is better? Relaxation or behaviour modification? This research looks at studies about reducing chronic pain and insomnia. The conclusion is that there is “strong evidence” for using relaxation techniques to reduce chronic pain and for using hypnosis to alleviate pain associated with cancer. The behavioural therapies, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and biofeedback, had moderate results, depending on the problem. Meditation therapy screensavers Be the most laid-back person in your office by downloading one of three free screensavers. The first one, Floating Emptiness, features a rotating 3-D cube that presents images of a meditating monk and a dharma wheel of truth. The second, Triple Treasure, features three floating pyramids and the third, Jewel of Awakening, has images of seated buddhas. All are accompanied by meditative chants. I’ll be there for you The “fight-or-flight” response has been touted for years as the typical way people respond to stress. However, American research shows women prefer to “tend and befriend”. Women had been excluded from stress research until five years ago because it was believed that monthly fluctuations in hormones created stress responses that varied too much to be considered statistically valid. |
| ILLUSTRATION: Caught napping: being asleep is about as relaxed as you can get – just don’t try it at work. Photo: Tanya Lake |
Cotton Ward 